get the whole fuck out of my house

Years + years ago I lived with my best friend and travel partner.  She had started this amazing list which we affectionately called "The Get Out of My House List"  It became one of the most therapeutic, hilarious and oh so very very real collection of words to live by.  

I think its time we started adding to it again.  I've opened up the comment section.  Leave your mark xo 

karmatheory 2009

"Get out of my house"

  • One day I walked into Amanda’s house and on her wall was a list that I have come to commonly refer to as the “Get Out of My House” list. We allow people into our minds, our lives and our safe havens. Tred lightly world, you’re in my house now. I began adding to the list every time I found myself too close to the fire.  It has since then become a therapeutic outlet that I could never have seen coming. Eyes up, ears open, welcome to the mind of those who refuse to deal any longer.  If you’ve let someone into your home, whether the physical structure or where the heart is, set the standards. If you won’t, who will?

    -If you think its ok to fizzle, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you disappear on me then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you sleep all day then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you have zero desire to ever cook dinner with me, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you hate hippies, then get out of my house. -A.F

    -If you don’t put an effort in with my family, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you make $85,000 a year, win $2,000 in Vegas and still make me pay for a $70 brunch (on my broke college student salary) then get out of my house. -CP

    -If you judge me because you think I’m judging you, then get out of my house. -AM

    -If you give me chlamydia and then try telling me you didn’t cheat on me, then get out of my house. -Al

    -If you don’t want to travel then get out of my house. -kt

    -If I pay for EVERYTHING, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you get off on drama, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you are still sleeping in a twin bed at 24 years old or older, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you think yoga or psych is frivolous or stupid, or anything that I’m studying/ putting my mind and soul into for that matter, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you hate my taste in music, then definitely get out of my house. -kt

    -If you ever swear at me, even once, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If the only “books” you read are “Game Informer” and “Car & Driver” then run the fuck out of my house. -kt

    -If you lie about your education and your best friend and your MOM drop the bomb that you bailed on college, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you are out buying drugs and then try telling me that you were at the bank talking to a bank manager at 8pm about your overdraft issues, then please get out of my house. -kt

    -If you hate the drive in, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you ever forget my birthday don’t even try coming back into my house. -kt

    -The first time you yell at me, get out of my house. -kt

    -If you drop off the face of the earth, don’t answer phone calls and then send me a random txt at 5am proclaiming your love and desire to see me. . then take your transparency elsewhere and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you only call me when you’re heavily intoxicated, then loose my number and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you work 8am-5pm, 5 days a week, have no student loans, no car payment, and you never leave the house, and your rent is $300– yet somehow you never have money to do anything. . then you have a drug problem, so please find the nearest exit and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you think its your way or no way then get out of my house. -K.D

    -If I buy you a gift and you chuck it at my head, then get out of my house. -K.D

    -If you say you’re going to drive me home and then drive away in the cab. . sans me, then get out of my house. -K.D

    -If you hold grudges, get out of my house. -kt

    -If you say one thing then do another, get out of my house. -A.V

    -If you don’t make me laugh, get out of my house. -A.V

    -If you don’t dance- get out of my house. -kt

    -If you don’t want to travel, then get out of my house. -kt

    -If you don’t love yourself, get out of my house. -kt

    -If you just call me when you want something, get out of my house. -Dellis

    -If you don’t believe in love, get out of my house. -Heather

    -If you think you’re better than everyone else, then get out of my house. -Dellis

    -If you talk about other girls incessantly in the interest of making me jealous or getting a rise out of me… chances are you like me– but you’re immature, so please find your nearest exit. -kt

    -If you make me fall in love with you but can’t back it up, then get out of my house– and stop being so careless, you’ll never make it out alive. -kt

    -Timing is everything. But if you’re just keeping me on deck because you know I’m perfect for you, just maybe not perfect right now, then you should never have come here in the first place, so please surrender your selfishness and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you get drunk and sleep with me and neglect to address the situation, then learn some self control and get out of my house. You felt comfortable enough to get naked with me, I think you can handle a short conversation… or maybe you can’t. -anonymous

    -Experience is the greatest teacher. If you can’t learn from your mistakes, you’ll never understand anything, so just leave now. -kt

    -If I hear you call me your best friend, then be prepared to act like one, and everything that goes along with it, or get out of my house. -kt

    -If you think I have too much energy for you, then check your pulse and get out of my house- kt

    -If you preface a racist comment with, “I’m not a racist or anything but…” then clearly you are and I never should have let you into my house in the first place. -Jess

    -If you can’t stop talking about your EX, well first off you’re annoying and second, get out of my house. -A.V

    -If I love you but you don’t love me, get out of my house. -A.V

    -If you call me at 3am to tell me how great your new girlfriend is, chances are, she’s not. So put the drink down, then put the phone down, because the only person you’re fooling… is yourself. So get out of my house. -kt

    -If you saturate our conversations with stories about your ex and then justify it by claiming its the only frame of reference that you have, then get out of my house, go date a few more people and come back to me when you have a little perspective. -kt

    -If you don’t take care of your body, then you’re not taking care of your mind, so do some soul searching and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you force me to pick my own date spot (for lack of your own creativity) then get out of my house- A.F

    -If you always monopolize conversation by preaching about yourself, then learn to listen, ask a question for a change of pace, and leave my house. Word from the wise: let your actions speak volumes, not your words. -kt

    -If you allow other people’s opinion of you rule your actions, then grow a backbone and get out of my house. -kt

    -If you’re rude to me and then follow it up with a weird version of sucking up, then get your bipolar issues out of my face and leave my house. -kt

katie monacelliComment